Melissa, I know so many people who have been hit hard by the current global situation. Friends sheltering in Israel, terrified by the Hamas attack but wanting Netanyahu to resign, Palestinian friends in the US who feel gutted by loss of family and some Palestinians who have been targeted in their careers by organizations like Canary Island, and many Jews in the US who feel just the way you do.
There are so many levels. The most immediate is the fear, betrayal, and shock that you feel on a personal level. All I can say is you are only hearing from the loudest people. It is terrifying if the loudest people are also close to you.
Your experience is connected with events in Israel and Palestine that we can't control but it is on a different level, because suddenly you feel threatened and "other" in your own country. When Trump said all Mexicans were rapists, I felt afraid (my mom's family is Mexican). After 9/11, I was afraid for my Muslim students. But for Jews, overt anti-semitism evokes a special fear that resonates with history and a sense that you have been fleeing forever. My heart and the hearts of many in our nation want to protect you, want you not to have to feel this way. And we want Palestinians in the US and blacks and others also not to fear.
I have asked for decades why antisemitism persists - and I cannot tell you why. I think it is a very important, serious question because we clearly don't understand how and who keeps it going and exactly why.
Although the divisions among the left didn't need to happen, the left has always been a big tent that, in my view, has not spent nearly enough time communicating, educating, and discussing deeper, important issues. I saw that with the various groups that arose in 2016. It was a problem - I heard leaders of some groups rail against men (what?), want all corporations and capitalism to stop (seriously?), and more. There are groups of people on the left who can be elitist and judgemental. They push my buttons. There is also a vast group that believes that we achieve our best solutions when all voices are heard and ideas considered and when we have a common, higher goal.
The solution to feeling targeted is, and probably always is, greater community. All those of us, Jews and non-Jews, need to speak up more, work to educated and clarify the situation, and share our narratives, our questions, and, especially, our discoveries. We do know that we would rather live in a nation that is not governed by fear or hate. We need to make that happen, as best we can. We know - and especially Jews who have given us so much in science, math, physics, medicine, and more know - that hate and violence are antithetical to discovery. We can find ways to grow and communicate ideas that move us forward.
Melissa, I have found Daniel Kanheman's Thinking Fast and Slow provides insight into how fear manipulates us, especially making it difficult for us to see solutions to hard problems.
